The last days

As the days lengthen the time with my girl shortens

A month ago I lived with two beautiful greyhounds and an odd but much loved lurcher. Today I have one greyhound having lost my oldest greyhound after she suddenly collapsed and died. The same day as I was sitting with my head in my hands I realised my other funny, and upbeat girl had a lump on her side

I couldn't believe my eyes as I was so sure it hadn't been there. Her harness is a longer version so everyday I clip it on and it sits over the same area. How could I have missed this? The problem with tumours as we all know is that sometimes they lurk and then appear without warning. I had not seen or noticed a swelling, I had not noticed any changes in her behaviour-there were no signs.

Now she has been diagnosed with chondrosarcoma and she doesn't have much time, it is very aggressive.

I took her for xrays and wish I hadn't as she took a long time to recover from the GA as is the case with most sighthounds and lurchers and to be honest I could see the tumour anyway-I will forever regret this, I should of relied on my gut instincts

Another lovely gentle vet took a small sample of fluid and the cancer was diagnosed from that small amount that he took in a very gentle and empathetic manner.

Now as we walk and make memories she is slowing down, she has lost that joy she always had in her eyes but there are no signs of pain but the cancer is attacking her cartilage which includes her trachea so she is panting more and is finding it more difficult to regulate her temperature

Its no good telling ourselves at this point to be kind to ourselves and this anticipatory grief is so strong-if we truly love our dogs we all know how this feels

The mundane every day things which we wouldn't have thought about become more poignant -those long slow walks, the way your dog looks at you during the day, and the quality of the time spent with them

For those of you that have young, vibrant dogs, value them. It is hard, i know, as the years seem to stretch ahead without a thought that one day they won't be there as you walk in the door.

Value your time with your dog-they only have us, we might have family and friends but their world revolves around us.

There is no formula for living these last weeks with your dog here-just recognition that it happens to all of us that truly love our dogs

Don't overlook your dog, spend time and allow them to choose the walks and recognise that they won't be here long